Joe Kowan: I have stage fright. I've always had stage fright, and not just a little bit, it's a big bit. And it didn't even matter until I was 27. That's when I started writing songs, and even then I only played them for myself. Just knowing my roommates were in the same house made me uncomfortable.
我有怯场的毛病 (演讲者：乔·科文) 我一直都怯场，不是一点点，是非常严重的怯场。27岁之前，这毛病对我都没什幺影响，在 27岁那年，我开始写歌，那时只唱给自己听，但一想到室友就在隔壁，我就会觉得不自在。
But after a couple of years, just writing songs wasn't enough. I had all these stories and ideas, and I wanted to share them with people, but physiologically, I couldn't do it. I had this irrational fear. But the more I wrote, and the more I practiced, the more I wanted to perform.
So on the week of my 30th birthday, I decided I was going to go to this local open mic, and put this fear behind me. Well, when I got there, it was packed. There were like 20 people there. (Laughter) And they all looked angry. But I took a deep breath, and I signed up to play, and I felt pretty good.
所以在我30岁生日那一周，我决定参加社区开麦表演，暂时把怯场的问题抛在脑后。到了那儿，我发现已经人山人海，大概有20个人在那里 (笑声) ，他们看起来都很疯狂。我深吸一口气，在表演报名单上签了名，当时感觉还不错。
Pretty good, until about 10 minutes before my turn, when my whole body rebelled, and this wave of anxiety just washed over me. Now, when you experience fear, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in. So you have a rush of adrenaline, your heart rate increases, your breathing gets faster. Next your non-essential systems start to shut down, like digestion. (Laughter) So your mouth gets dry, and blood is routed away from your extremities, so your fingers don't work anymore. Your pupils dilate, your muscles contract, your Spidey sense tingles, basically your whole body is trigger-happy. (Laughter) That condition is not conducive to performing folk music. (Laughter) I mean, your nervous system is an idiot. Really? Two hundred thousand years of human evolution, and it still can't tell the difference between a saber tooth tiger and 20 folksingers on a Tuesday night open mic? (Laughter) I have never been more terrified -- until now. (Laughter and cheers)
一直到表演前10分钟，我都自我感觉良好。接着，我全身开始不听使唤，整个人也变得非常不安。听我说，当你害怕时，交感神经系统就开始发挥作用，你会肾上腺素增高，心跳加速，呼吸变急促，那些不太重要的系统开始关闭，比如消化系统 (笑声) 你会感到口干舌燥，四肢供血不足，手指变得僵硬，你的瞳孔变大，肌肉收缩，你的蜘蛛侠第六感也开始发挥作用。基本上，你整个人处于高度备战状态 (笑声) ，只是，这状态很不适合表演民谣 (笑声) 。我的意思是，你的神经系统基本报废了，不信？经过二十万年人类进化，它却分不清剑齿虎和参加周二晚间开麦表演的20名民谣歌手 (笑声)。我从没那幺紧张过，不过现在更紧张 (笑声，鼓励声)。
So then it was my turn, and somehow, I get myself onto the stage, I start my song, I open my mouth to sing the first line, and this completely horrible vibrato -- you know, when your voice wavers -- comes streaming out. And this is not the good kind of vibrato, like an opera singer has, this is my whole body just convulsing with fear. I mean, it's a nightmare. I'm embarrassed, the audience is clearly uncomfortable, they're focused on my discomfort. It was so bad. But that was my first real experience as a solo singer-songwriter.
And something good did happen -- I had the tiniest little glimpse of that audience connection that I was hoping for. And I wanted more. But I knew I had to get past this nervousness.
That night I promised myself: I would go back every week until I wasn't nervous anymore. And I did. I went back every single week, and sure enough, week after week, it didn't get any better. The same thing happened every week. (Laughter) I couldn't shake it.
那一晚，我向自己许诺：从今往后，每周都参加开麦表演，直到不感到紧张为止。我的确这样做了，每周都去。经过了一周又一周，果然，情况一点儿都没好转，每次上台还是怯场 (笑声) 我实在摆脱不掉它。
And that's when I had an epiphany. And I remember it really well, because I don't have a lot of epiphanies. (Laughter) All I had to do was write a song that exploits my nervousness. That only seems authentic when I have stage fright, and the more nervous I was, the better the song would be. Easy. So I started writing a song about having stage fright. First, fessing up to the problem, the physical manifestations, how I would feel, how the listener might feel. And then accounting for things like my shaky voice, and I knew I would be singing about a half-octave higher than normal, because I was nervous. By having a song that explained what was happening to me, while it was happening, that gave the audience permission to think about it. They didn't have to feel bad for me because I was nervous, they could experience that with me, and we were all one big happy, nervous, uncomfortable family. (Laughter)
直到有一天我灵光一现，那一刻我记得非常清楚，因为我灵光一现的时候不多 (笑声)。 我唯一需要做的，就是写一首表达我紧张的歌，只有当我怯场的时候，这首歌才更有感染力。我越紧张，就能把歌演绎得越好，这太好办了。于是，我开始着手创作一首关于怯场的歌，先坦承自己有怯场的毛病，说说都有哪些生理表现？有什幺心理感受？谈谈听众的感受？然后再做些解释，比如为什幺会发出颤音？我知道因为紧张，我的音比正常高半个八度，有了这么一首解释我状态的歌，当我怯场时，观众就不会觉得太突兀，他们不必因为我紧张而担心我，他们可以和我经历这一切，我们是开心快乐、局促不安的大家庭 (笑声)。
By thinking about my audience, by embracing and exploiting my problem, I was able to take something that was blocking my progress, and turn it into something that was essential for my success. And having the stage fright song let me get past that biggest issue right in the beginning of a performance. And then I could move on, and play the rest of my songs with just a little bit more ease. And eventually, over time, I didn't have to play the stage fright song at all. Except for when I was really nervous, like now. (Laughter)
Would it be okay if I played the stage fright song for you? (Applause)
Can I have a sip of water? (Music) Thank you.
我可以喝口水吗 (音乐) ？谢谢。
♫ I'm not joking, you know, ♫ ♫ this stage fright is real. ♫ ♫ And if I'm up here trembling and singing, ♫ ♫ well, you'll know how I feel. ♫ ♫ And the mistake I'd be making, ♫ ♫ the tremolo caused by my whole body shaking. ♫ ♫ As you sit there feeling embarrassed for me, ♫ ♫ well, you don't have to be. ♫ ♫ Well, maybe just a little bit. ♫ (Laughter) ♫ And maybe I'll try to imagine you all without clothes. ♫ ♫ But singing in front of all naked strangers scares me more than anyone knows. ♫ ♫ Not to discuss this at length, ♫ ♫ but my body image was never my strength. ♫ ♫ So frankly, I wish that you all would get dressed, ♫ ♫ I mean, you're not even really naked. ♫ ♫ And I'm the one with the problem. ♫ ♫ And you tell me, don't worry so much, you'll be great. ♫ ♫ But I'm the one living with me ♫ ♫ and I know how I get. ♫ ♫ Your advice is gentle but late. ♫ ♫ If not just a bit patronizing. ♫ ♫ And that sarcastic tone doesn't help me when I sing. ♫ ♫ But we shouldn't talk about these things right now, ♫ ♫ really, I'm up on stage, and you're in the crowd. Hi. ♫ ♫ And I'm not making fun of unnurtured, irrrational fear, ♫ ♫ and if I wasn't ready to face this, ♫ ♫ I sure as hell wouldn't be here. ♫ ♫ But if I belt one note out clearly, ♫ ♫ you'll know I'm recovering slowly but surely. ♫ ♫ And maybe next week, I'll set my guitar ringin' ♫ ♫ my voice clear as water, and everyone singin'. ♫ ♫ But probably I'll just get up and start groovin', ♫ ♫ my vocal cords movin', ♫ ♫ at speeds slightly faster than sound. ♫
嘿，我没开玩笑 我真的怯场 如果我在台上一边发抖一边歌唱 你会知道我的感受 我还会搞砸发出颤音 那是全身发抖的杰作 不用替我尴尬 哦，真的不用 好吧，可以有一点 (笑声) 我会想象你们都没穿衣裳 但在一群躶体陌生人前唱歌更让我紧张 不要细说下去 身材从不是我的强项 老实说，我希望大家都正装出席 我的意思是，不要真的什幺也不穿 我才是有问题的那个人 你们跟我说，不要太烦恼，一定能唱好 我一直都陪着自己 我知道该怎样做 你的建议很贴心，但来得有点晚 就算你不是神气十足 那挖苦的语调也让我唱不好 但现在我们不需要谈论这些 真的，我在台上，你在台下。嗨~ 我没有拿这莫名其妙的恐慌开玩笑 如果没准备好去面对 我也不会站在这里 如果我清晰将一个音符弹唱 你会明白我在恢复，慢却稳当 或许，下周我会把吉他奏响 我的声音清澈如水，大家一起歌唱 或许，我会走上台，渐入佳境 声带不停震动 快得超过声速